My Kingdom for a Whopper
Since moving from WV to OR there have been some pretty significant changes to my lifestyle. The most significant change is probably with the friends I have here. The friends we have here are much more natural than anyone else I have ever hung out with and they are claiming my wife. Now in WV when someone was referred to as natural what it really translated into was stinky. This is definitely not the case here. Our friends are not stinky they merely have a commitment to living with green and sustainable practices. This is great but it has an effect on my life that is getting to be a bit much. We now make our own cream cheese, bread, and shampoo. We are in a free range organic egg co-op. My wife wants us to spend $9 on raw milk. We recycle or compost everything. We use cloth diapers which I have to carry dirty bath water from the bathtub to the washing machine in order to wash. All of that to say I try and do my part. The problem comes when I find myself in a restaurant with our friends I never want to order first because I don’t want to order the wrong carbon footprint meal but I hate ordering last because then I feel like I need to follow suit and order the steamed salmon, water chestnut, and leek tartar.
Don’t get me wrong, I am truly committed to creational stewardship and all that jazz but too much of a good thing apparently leaves me hungry. I want to be able to get a McRib, that’s right suckers I said McRib, and not have to eat it in my son’s closet in fear of being discovered. I want to be able to walk down the street with my head held high while letting the grease from my Oregon Burrito lovingly caresses my chin. I want to be able to eat a steak without someone who claims to be my friend asking me if I know how much methane a cow produces in its lifetime and why am I not eating tofu.
I say enough is enough. It is football season and I refuse to mask my love of cheese product and sausage. I am going to fly my greasy pizza flag high. I don’t want to go back to my old ways but I do want the occasional guilt-free chili dog. Who’s with me?
Jason said,
Wrote on September 3, 2008 @ 10:03 pm
Echoed here. Although, while I do certainly enjoy consuming those “poor” food choices, my gut doesn’t always seem to enjoy them the way it used to. What can I say, I’m getting old — my wife would tell you that I am already old. But man it tastes soooo good.
What’s that? It’s after 9p? I gotta go to bed. Old.
Aaron said,
Wrote on September 4, 2008 @ 8:57 am
You also left out the part where we brew our own beer. But what are you talking about? No one orders steamed salmon!
We all love greasy, salty, crunchy, delicious food. Cheese fries, onion rings, corn dogs, pizza, burgers–it doesn’t matter. I mean, come on–we own a hot dog stand! And didn’t I just make some deep-fried spheres of deliciousness?
But I don’t know if I could ever stoop to the McRib. Or the Whopper. I love bad food, but I have to draw the line on taste. I have to admit though, it is pretty funny picturing you saying “hey, after I finish roasting my fairly traded, organically shade-grown coffee, I am going to go and get a McRib”
By the way, does anyone else think the McRib looks like tiny pig unmentionables smushed together?
Homer said,
Wrote on September 4, 2008 @ 4:46 pm
No, I don’t think the McRib looks like that at all, in fact, i think it looks (and tastes) amazing. I am always so excited when it is back and so sad to see it go. I feel Homer’s pain.
I agree, it IS nice to have a break from all things healthy sometimes, but it does reak havoc on my body. McRib come find me! 