ATTENTION! I know who they REALLY are!
You know a superhero.
I am tired of how fast they drive/run/fly, the star treatment they get, and the lucrative endorsement deals–they are vigilantes, and not above the law! They need to be stopped! To further this cause, I have painstakingly uncovered the lay identities of the following superheroes, so we can ALL know who they are!
Here, for the world to see, are the identities uses to fight crime, protect the innocent, and lay around the house on Saturdays.
First to be revealed: MATT!
Secondly–JASON!
Thirdly, we have LUKE!
Next, ladies and gentlemen, we have BEN!
Actually, this is BEN!
And finally, AARON!
Well, he’s probably someone’s hero





